Half Way There!

Actually probably slightly more than half way there with quarantine but I am officially in week 20 of my pregnancy which means I’m half way through baby!

Felt cute, unlikely to delete ever

To avoid descending into a panic of “I STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN AND ONLY HAVE 20 WEEKS LEFT TO DO IT” I’ve decided to send my brain in the opposite direction and instead compile a guideline of parental tips I’ve gleaned from my friends, family and many many hours of watching Netflix:

1. Don’t trust rich people who want to do stuff for your kid consequence free. It’s suspicious and weird. If it sounds too good to be true then it most definitely is. Essential viewing includes:
   • Jeffrey Epstein Doco (always question a billionaire that wants to pay for your children to go on an all expenses paid vacation but you’re not invited)
   • Abducted In Plain Sight (always question a grown man that says his therapist recommend he share a bed with your children. Like HONESTLY I mean I shouldn’t even have to say this one its common fucking sense. In fact I might just rewatch this entire documentary as a reminder of everything you definitely should not do when raising children.)
   • Leaving Neverland (just because someone is a mega huge superstar doesn’t mean they don’t have bad intentions with your kids. Don’t get starstruck and again don’t let your child share a bedroom with a strange man even if it is in a 5 Star Hotel and even if that man is responsible for starting a cultural phenomenon)

2. Just because your Dad supports the Melbourne Demons doesn’t mean you have to.

• I’m not trying to raise a masochist here. Although supporting the Dee’s will set him up from a young age to learn how to handle constant and bitter disappointment. Maybe it will teach him how to lose gracefully?

3. You have to find the right balance of alternately smothering and neglecting your child so they have the right balance of entitlement and independence. Main example is:

• Indian Matchmaking (push too hard and you end up with an Aparna, smother too much and you end up with an Akshay. Aim for a balance and a Nadia is where you’ll hopefully land)

4. You need to work actively from a young age to counteract the ingrained racism that exists in Australian culture

• While Australians may not be actively and in your face racist there’s a more casual off the cuff racism that will catch you off guard in your day to day that can often be more pernicious.
• A lot of this racism stems from misinformation, miseducation and lack of cultural integration. Having lived in 3 different countries outside of Oz I can hands down say we are the worst at accurately representing our diversity in our cultural identity. Any TV show aired on any of our national networks is just a screen full of white faces. All our major politicians are white. Even everyone on the radio is white. I think they only allowed a brown family onto Neighbours a few years ago……
• I’m going to have to find a way to adequately prepare my son for a lifetime of answering the question ” BUT WHERE ARE YOU FROM?”

4. Strive to provide you with 3 meals a day that are far more delicious and nutritious than this:

Although I was pretty excited about the Special K and whaaaattt FULL SIZE MARS BAR!!!!

6. No matter what you do and how you turn out I guess I have to love you unconditionally.

• I’m not sure how this works but apparently it comes naturally.